Calm Waters

One step, tentative, searching, going in

feeling happy and then sad.

Where to and why?

One step closer, or further away;

don’t know!

Hoping my happiness shines my inner sadness.

Hoping my sadness tempers my confidence.

Slow, tentative, reaching closer to my wish,

wish not to be lost forever.

Things familiar, but longtime forgotten.

Forces shaped in the past, 
piercing my inner turbulence.

Yes, feeling happy now, but sad again!

Why?
When?

My inner desires searching for calm waters.

I search, tentative steps, hoping for inner peace.